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No One Cares What I Think, But I’m Gonna Blog Anyway

Really, how narcissistic are bloggers, anyway? Why do they think that anyone will want to read what they write about? Why do people read blogs anyway?

I don’t really know why. Maybe they are relate-able. Maybe the readers are just bored. Maybe they really hate someone, and for some reason reading about their life is interesting.

Or maybe, people actually do care about what other people have to say, and reading about it on a blog is more accessible than waiting for a book to come out, or having an actual conversation with someone. (Or maybe the reader is a regular person reading a celebrity’s blog.)

Well, I am going to find out if people actually care about what I have to say.

I’m back.

I intend to make this blog more structured than when I started, and abandoned, it several years ago. Why didn’t I just create a completely new blog? Because I’m lazy.

Anyway, I am going to attempt to post things regularly, one or two times a week. My first well thought out post will probably be about how much dating sucks. I already started writing it, but I haven’t gotten too far with it, so we’ll see.

Maybe I’ll write about writing instead.

It’s going to be a mix, because I am not focused enough on any one thing to blog about just one thing. (Like seriously, who can have a whole blog about bullet journaling? I appreciate those who do, but really? I barely manage to update my bullet journaling Instagram once a week, let alone have a whole blog about it. [@amessybujo if you’re interested] I might occasionally blog about it, I don’t know for sure yet.) I may also write about my knitting attempts, and painting attempts, and just life in general.

I should really come up with a clever way to end my posts.

Bye.

Creativity

I watch a lot of thefrugalcrafter videos on youtube, and a week or two ago she posted a video about getting unstuck and creativity, and it got me thinking about what I can do to be more creative. Her blog post about getting unstuck is here.

In her video, Lindsay (thefrugalcrafter) talked about setting specific limits on what you’ll use, and the time you use. I am primarily a writer, so what I use to be creative doesn’t change much, but I could benefit from setting up designated times for writing. I have actually know this for a while, at least one of my creative writing professors talked about this, but it was good to have a reminder. Writing this blog post is also serving as a reminder to actually set writing goals every day, because I noted that I should start doing that when I first watched the video, but have not yet done it.

What really got me thinking though, was a video that Lindsay mentioned, and linked to, of John Cleese talking about creativity. At first I wasn’t going to also watch his video, but I went ahead and watched, which was a good idea.

The thing that John Cleese talked about that stood out for me was when he talked about how he once lost a script he had written, so he rewrote it from memory, and when he found the original script later, he noticed the rewrite was better. He pointed out that the unconscious brain is thinking about something, even when the conscious brain has moved on. So when he went back to that script, his subconscious had already been thinking about it and that helped make it better when he rewrote the script.

That phenomenon is probably the reason it’s a good idea to walk away from something for a while, even if you didn’t lose it as he did. When you come back to the work, you have been thinking, but not too focused on what you were working on, so it seems fresh.

Going back to the frugal crafter video, Lindsay talked about how it’s easier to be creative with structure, hence the choice of what materials to use, and for how much time. If you give yourself no limits, you’re less likely to actually do something creative.

That’s exactly why I wrote more while I was still in school, but barely write now, almost five years after graduating. I often do better in November, when I am participating in NaNoWriMo, because that is imposing structure on myself. While in school, the professors imposed deadlines, and the goal of writing fifty-thousand words in one month imposes structure on me when I participate in NaNo. I need to set deadlines for myself during the rest of the year too. Hopefully, this blog will help with that.

Ready for a Break.

This semester has been, well, worthless for me. Or almost worthless. I feel like I’m not getting anything out of four of my five classes this semester. It could be senioritis setting in already, but I didn’t really expect it until spring semester.

I am so tired of school. A couple of weeks ago I figured out that I have been going to some form of school for 20 years, and I’m only 23. I think I would be more okay with that if I was working on a Master’s degree, but I’m still working on a Bachelors. (Holy shit, I just realized that I have been in school for longer than my roommate has been alive. She just turned 19.)

I’m desperate to be done with school.

One problem: I’m terrified of what’s going to happen after college.

I’m sure many people feel that same terror, but I really don’t know how I will handle it. I don’t know if I am responsible enough to be an adult. Plus, I have absolutely no idea where I will work, or even what kind of job I will be doing. How marketable is a creative writing degree, anyway?

There has been talk of me working for Disney. I would like to look into that, but I don’t know how feasible that really is. My god parents really want that to happen, because they absolutely love Disney. (I do too, but I wonder if working for them would ruin that.)

I would also love to live in Canada for a while, but I don’t know where I would work there either. I was considering going to Grad School in Vancouver, but I’d have to earn some money before that. I’ll have to get a job at a store or something. I might be able to find a job as an English tutor again. Who knows?

Amazing things can happen.

So, if you have read my blog at all before you should know that I am a creative writing student. If you don’t know that, now you do.

On Friday the website Goodreads.com had an event where a few authors of Star Wars books would be online answering fan’s questions. I decided to check in on it, because one of my favorite authors of all time, Timothy Zahn, was one of the authors involved. I hadn’t really planned to ask anything, I just wanted to see what was going on. After about a half hour of reading other people’s questions, I realized that I was equipped to ask much more intelligent questions than many people were posting, so I finally decided to pose one. I addressed it to all the authors, so I wasn’t sure who would respond. I waited a few minutes, and the very next post was none other than Timothy Zahn responding to my question. I  was so freaking exited just to see that he had read something that I had written and deigned it worth while to answer. I immediately took a screen shot, and told my roommates, who didn’t really care. Two other authors answered as well, but I wasn’t nearly as excited by their responses. (I’d also like to note that the post right before mine was completely ignored.)

Here is the screen shot:

It’s kinda small, but oh well.

Anyway, that made my entire weekend pretty much. And now I’m seriously considering revising one of my old stories and finding somewhere to submit it.

Quiet

It’s unusually quiet in my dorm room right now. I should take advantage of the quiet and do homework, but I probably won’t. I have the feeling the minute I get started it will suddenly become loud in here, like it usually is. 

There is almost always music on, now I guess everyone is napping or doing homework, or using headphones at least. 

Writing on the Body

So this semester I’m taking a creative writing class called Writing on the Body, which is not entirely about sex, but is mostly. (No, we are not literally writing on people’s bodies, though I think that would be sort of interesting as an art exhibit or something.)

Now I haven’t read many books with sex scenes in them, and even those weren’t particularly explicit, but I don’t have a problem reading them. What I’m more concerned with is being able to write for this class. Usually when I get to a point in my writing where my characters are going to have sex I cut away, partially because most of what I read does, and partially because I have never had sex myself so I really don’t trust myself to be able to write about it convincingly. (My virginity has little to do with morality, I’m not particularly concerned with waiting until marriage, I just haven’t had a relationship that got to that point.) So what I really want to know is whether an author can successfully write a convincing sex scene without having that experience for him or herself? Would the reader be able to tell?

This also ties in with whether a female author can successfully write from a male perspective, and vice versa. People write from perspectives different than their own, and about things that they couldn’t possible experience, so is sex any different?

 

My professor did say that at some point in this class we will look at alien embodiment too, which should be really interesting as well. (See, not all about sex.)